Do you ever get blind-sided by social media? You're scrolling along thinking about how you should be heading to bed and BAM!- a picture pops into your feed and suddenly you're overcome by (insert strong emotion of the moment).

That's me tonight. I did not see this one coming, and as such I had no way to anticipate the reactivity of my emotions. So here I am. Bawling.

I don't know about you, but social struggles have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Friendships have never come easily, and many have not stood the test of time. I readily own my part in each of those endings, it does take two to tango after all. I have always been imperfect and that's not gonna change. Maturity has helped me see the natural ebb and flow of relationships. Though it never stops feeling weird, I've grown accustomed to how friendships change with new seasons of life, and some fade away. Some we leave because they're not healthy. The endings are all hard for me.

Growing up, all I wanted was to fit in. I never did. Other kids could sense my fear, I was desperate to be part of the crowd. I never was. I walked around for 41 years wanting to be seen and known and loved for who I am, but not able to give that to myself, much less experience it from others. As a kid, and teen, and twenty and thirty something, I always felt like too much. I am extra to be sure. By design, I feel things in deep and intense ways lots of people don't. It's what makes me who I am, and it's the place from which my gifts were born. Feelings are my superpower. But being a sensitive feeler didn't do me any favors in the social arena. I cried a lot as a kid. I was teased mercilessly, an easy target.

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